6 things a woman should know about a man


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1. Guys Never Want to Talk About their
Feelings
Well, that depends upon your definition of
“talk.” Ever seen how two guys share their
hurts and disappointments? Bet you never did,
because it happened so fast you missed it. A
guy will only share his troubles with someone
he really trusts. Also, he’ll do it in a way that
doesn’t make him look wimpy or lose face.
Your guy will “talk” about his feelings with
you. Just don’t expect a Shakespearean
monologue. At the same time, listen to him
when he does talk like this. Brush him off a
couple times, and he’s not going to open up
anymore.

2. Guys are just in it for the sex
Wow, another ugly one. And it’s so unfair to
men. First off, some men are real skanks, and
you want to stay away from them. But truly,
not all men are like that. Most men are
looking for a fulfilling relationship with a
wonderful woman, but they just don’t know
how to get there. If you want to find a man
who’s about the relationship instead of the
sex, slooooow things down. Demand
commitment. Dress moderately. Imagine for a
moment what it would be like to be a
microwave instead of a Crock Pot, with your
desire dangling outside of you. Now imagine
that the bra you wear or the shape of your
pants pushed the desire big time. Now you
have an idea of what makes men do what they
do. In other words, you get what you pay for.
If a man doesn’t feel pressured to have sex
with you after the third date, you might be
surprised to find what a gentleman he can be.
The trouble is, our culture has convinced
everyone that sex is way, way more important
to a relationship than it is. Be open with a
man about why you’re attracted to him, so he
doesn’t feel the need to seduce you.
3. Guys don’t Try to Understand Us
Correction: You don’t try to tell men. I tell
you, when guys hang out, the single most
common topic of discussion is “Hey, anyone
here tell me why my girlfriend/wife did this or
that?” And all the guys chip in. Truth be told,
we’re not good at sniffing out meanings in
stuff. If you want us to understand
something . . . well, tell us. “I’m mad at you
because I found out you spent the gas money
on World of Warcraft IV” is a lot more effective
than throwing a pout fit for three days and
saying “You’re always spending money we
don’t have!” Be specific. Guys are episodic in
nature. They don’t do longterm checklists. If
you pull away and complain about nonrelated
things, they won’t be spurred on to dig deeper
and find out where you erred – they ‘ll be
confused, nonplussed, and ultimately, angry.
4. He’s more Interested in Work than Me
Once again, you need to understand a man’s
reasoning. Much ink has been spilled over a
man’s need to feel affirmed by his job and
career, so I’m not going to add to that. Suffice
it to say, that’s true. What is also true is that
a man has a hard time understanding you
when you say that a relationship is more
important than a career. Too many self-
righteous women ask their men, “Why is this
so much more important to you?” To which
the men are thinking inside, “Why not?”
Unless you have a darned good answer to that
question, don’t ask it. You just push your man
toward making the determination that the
career is, in fact, more important. Too many
women assume that their position is morally
superior. Trust me, that’s a values judgment,
and you’re liable to lose. A man puts a lot of
work into building a career, and he feels
entitled to some payback. When you met this
man, you knew he was a guy with a lot of
goals, ambition, and drive. Learn to celebrate
and affirm that – not squelch it.
5. Guys are Bad Listeners
This one is right up there with the old myth
that all girls are good listeners. Guys are
people, too. Sometimes they’re tired, or
stressed, or just wanting to think about
something else. They don’t mean to brush you
off. Remember, guys usually speak whatever is
on their heart quickly and succinctly. If you
want to keep our attention, learn to speak
their language. Break it up into bullet points.
Don’t repeat the same complaints every day.
He heard you the first time. Don’t always wait
for a response, either. He might need time to
think about it.
6. He doesn’t care when I Cry
Oooh yes it is a task! He does care a lot. But
most guys just don’t have the emotional tools
in their toolbox to fix this problem. Remember
the old saw? “Girls don’t want you to put out
the fire – they just want you to stand in the
fire with them and burn.” The truth is, most
guys don’t know what you want when you cry.
So why not tell them? “Look, I am crying
because my best friend from high school just
left a nasty message on my phone. So please,
can you hold me for twenty minutes and then
we’ll go get dinner at the restaurant?” Wow.
You’ve given him a way to fix this mess.

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